Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize