This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
