love makes seman taste better
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
