I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
false alarm, still single
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
