you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I want a musical about memes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
