when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
