Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
