don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
