How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize