You're my little dorito
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
