it hurts more in the daytime
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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