If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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