people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
