You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Sorry my hands just texted you
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
