Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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