i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
