I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
