After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
