you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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