Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
