All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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