hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
