I wanna passion pit in your ass
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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