Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
