and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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