Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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