Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There are leaves in my underwear?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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