We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
