i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
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