Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
