He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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