I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
