Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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