I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
