i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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