I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i think my cat just said my name.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize