We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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