how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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