I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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