Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she woke up with a sticky ear
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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