He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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