Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
