so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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