Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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