I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
