I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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