Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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