Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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