I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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