But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
