I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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