You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
