I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize