You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
