then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
