and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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