I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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