Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
