why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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