We won't sleep together?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
