the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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