Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize