Plan B is the new Plan A
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize