I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
