I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
