My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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