she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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