I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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