I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
