the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
