I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
